Funny Workplace Safety Tales

Funny Workplace Safety Tales

Funny health and safety tales at the workplace.

A crowd gathered  were watching a sales demonstration.

The demonstrator had an ordinary saw next to another which had a saw stopping safety device.  He showed how each might work when it hit an operator's finger.

For simulation purposes he used a sausage as a substitute.  Intrigued, a curious spectator stepped up for a closer look and was struck in the eye by a flying piece of debris.

1. Safety is a major concern at the manufacturing company where I work.  So I'm constantly preaching caution to the workers I supervise.  'Does anyone know,' I asked a few guys, 'what the speed limit is in our parking lot?'
   
   The long silence that followed was interrupted when one of them piped up.  'That depends. Do you mean coming to work or leaving?'
2. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in Boston, Massachusetts, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.
3. Safety Managers: persons who write a 10,000 word document and call it a brief - Franz Kafka
4. What do you get if you put 100 Safety Managers in your basement? - A whine cellar.
5. Dead Slow - Live Children
   Here is an interesting oxymoron.  Humorous safety signs really do work.
    
6. A police protection officer was visiting a primary school in a particularly rough area of Manchester, England.
   
   'Why shouldn't you touch the oven door or the kettle?' he asked the assembled class.
   
   A young girls hand shot into the air. 'Because you might leave fingerprints,' she answered.